Chapter 31

When we last left off, Bobbi had been blessed with a little boy named Tennant.

Bobbi: I'm so happy!

Oh, that's not why you're happy...

Bobbi: Wait, what's happening?!

Due to her pregnancies, Bobbi had managed to cheat life for days and was well past her time to age into an adult.

Bobbi: Nooooo!

Luckily it wasn't too dramatic.

Bobbi: I'M WRINKLY!

I decided to give her some new clothes as well to suit her new flabby old body.

Bobbi: Shut it.

Oh, just go to bed.

I made the mistake of sending my Sims to bed too early.  Flabby old Bobbi was up at 3 and raiding the fridge.

Bobbi: Oh boy, nothing like pancakes at three in the morning!

Craig was up next and went to troll on the forums, completely ignoring the fact that there were children trying to sleep in that room.

CRAGOSAURUS221-- Yo mama iz so fatt hur bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she dose!!!  #BURRRRRN

You're truly evil, Craig.

All the evil cackling had roused Leonardo, who decided to play dress up.

Leonardo: Bow down to me, gurrrrl.

He's faaahbulous.

Little Tennant has actually been a chill baby so far.  He's made it through the night without any distress.

Megoin must have been so disappointed.

Megoin: I'll show you how it's done.  DADDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Midge: Was that really necessary?

Megoin: Yes.

Poor Midge.

All that screaming had upset Tennant, and Midge now had not one but TWO crying babies to deal with!

Tennant: SHUT IT, SISTER!

*ringring*

Mason: Hello?

Isabel: HAYYYYYY SEXY WHY DON'T YOU BRING YOSELF OVER TO MY PLACE AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEANNNNNNNNN~

Mason: ...wut.

Stupid story progression.  Isabel (Tim's wife) ended up calling Mason in the morning to ask him out, even though both adults are married.  Shame on you, Isabel.

Midge: C'mon Meg, just go potty...

Megoin: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Midge: PLEASE!

Tennant: WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Midge definitely had his hands full today.

Bobbi: Need some help here?

Midge: Oh dear god yes.

Mason decided to take Megoin out to the library so Midge and Bobbi could watch over their new baby.

Mason: OH JESUS I'M TO OLD FOR THIS.

Mason: So, once upon a time...

Megoin: I hate reading.

The twins also got themselves out of the house for the day and to the park.  I really worry about them never seeing the sun.  What a view, though!

Annnd look who showed up.  Me and my boyfriend's simself.  How wonderful.

Red: I hate this place.

Duuuuude.  Watchu doing.  Don't look at me like that.  STAAAAAHHHHHHP.
  THIS IS NO PLACE FOR ROMANCE.

Michelangelo: Don't worry, I'll save you!

Red: What do you want, punk?

Michelangelo: We should play something!

Red: Is this ANOTHER Peter?  Dear Lord, they're breeding like rabbits.  I'm outta here.

I'm such a jerk.

Mick was persistent, though, and soon had me cornered.

Michelangelo: Let's play stone paper scissors!

Red: Do I look like I want to play?

Michelangelo: Uhhhh...

Red: WELL, DO I?!

Michelangelo: NOOOOOOO?

Red: WELL I DO, YOU LITTLE CREEP!!

Red: Now, let's get on with the game!

Michelangelo: ._.

I've never seen someone do that before.  I think I'm possessed.

Back at the library, Megoin was once again causing a disturbance.

Megoin: FEED ME!!!

Mason: Oh geez, will this make you shut up?

Megoin: Yes.

Midge: Never fear, commoners, for the amazing Florence has ARRIVED!

Tony: Wowwww, he's my hero!

Dash: What a weirdo.

Leonardo: Daaad, stop following us!

At home, just as it was getting dark, Tennant aged up.  Under a full moon.  During a zombie invasion.  What a badass.

And awhhh, he looks quite cute ^.^  He inherited the Peter's signature brown hair and some light purple, almost pink, eyes.

But we needn't worry about the zombie invasion going on below.  It was proving to be, once again, useless.

Zombie: Zombie scared of dark!

Wait.  What are you doing?

Tennant: Zombies!  Play!

Zombie: Zombie scared of small child!

Tennant sure is a weirdo.

Michelangelo: Wait, did somebody say zombies?

Zombie: Zombie!

Leonardo: Wow, they're really here!

Michelangelo: Mom, can we keep one?

Bobbi: Okay, kids, I think you've had enough play time with your zombie friends.  Say goodbye and get in bed.

Leonardo: Awwwww!

Zombie: Awwwww!

See, EA?  This just proves how useless they are.

And across the island....

*sparkle*

Midge: Wait...what's happening?  AM I TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE?!

No, you're just aging up!

Midge: NO!  EVEN WORSE!

Tennant: Mama, I wanna play with zombies more!

Bobbi: Now now, Tennant, I think the zombies have had enough play time for the next week.

Tennant: Aww.

Or have they?

Zombie: ZOMBIE WANT TO PLAY MORE TOO.

So sad.

The next day, on the twins' way to school, look who I found aged up and totally skipping?  Ruby! (Yes, this one is Ruby).  Looks like poor Torrence was going through a midlife crisis, though.  OUTTA THE SHOT.

Torrence: Does this dress make my butt look fat?

Tennant was proving to be the ever-chill child.  He just sat in his crib and waited.  Well, if he was crying I wouldn't be able to tell cause Megoin won't shut up.

Megoin: FOOOOD!!!!!

Midge: Goood morning!  What, no screaming?  No biting?

Tennant: Not today!

Midge: ...I like you!

He really was a cheeky one.  So cute.

Poor Megoin, however, was starting to realise that she was the forever cursed middle child.

Megoin: Are you kidding me?

Midge: So, you just sit on the potty and...wait, don't you tell him what to do!  I have better potty advice!  No, I do!  SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Tennant: Wow, great show!

And I have no clue why, but this guy just showed up at the house and cleaned up Tennant's plastic bag of crap!  How wonderful!

The two toddlers were then stuck in the playpen to bond while Midge and Bobbi went on a very important outing.

Tennant: I don't care what you call it, I am NOT socializing with her.

Megoin: Ditto.

Midge: Ahhh, isn't the view great!

Bobbi: Sure is.

Definitely!

Midge: Go away!

Midge: So, there's something I've been meaning to ask you...

Bobbi: Hmm?

Excuse the sudden time gap.

Midge: LET'S GET MARRIED, YO!

Classy, Midge.  Classy.

And of course she said yes.  HOW SWEET BLAH BLAH BLAH.

As the two returned home, Tennant and Meg had at least made enough progress to face each other.  There wasn't much else going on, though.

Tennant: I refuse to look at her.

Megoin: Well I refuse to look at him!

Toddler probs.

Megoin: Well there you guys are!

Tennant: We've been stuck in here practically all day!

Great.  Now they'll never sleep tonight.

Midge: Mom, I thought I told you to watch the kids while we were out!

Dodger: Oops.

Rule #1, Midge.  Never trust Dodger with children.

I swear, the stereos in the house are possessed.  All they do is turn themselves on in the middle of the night and I have to listen to those stupid Simlish songs for who knows how long.

Bobbi and Mason were okay with it, though.

Bobbi: GET FUNKY NOW!

She's going through a midlife crisis.  I hope she doesn't break a hip.

Midge: Good morning, son.

I decided to give Tennant a new head of hair.  His last style wasn't really doing it for me.

I just love that face.

Midge and Tennant set out to the backyard to do a bit of skill training.

Midge: See, it's not that hard!

Tennant: I'm two days old and you're expecting me to walk?!

And inside...

Bobbi: Awhhh, mummy still has her sweet little babies, mummy can't be that old yet!

Megoin: CAN'T.  BREATHE.

Back outside, Tennant was finally learning the joys of walking.

Tennant: I'm moving on two legs!  WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!

Bobbi: Are me two men having fun?  Well, the super gorgeous and young mother is going to take her daughter out to the swings.

Just keep telling yourself that, Bobbi.

Megoin: Wheee, I finally got rid of her!

Megoin: Uhh, guys, don't you think this is going a little fast?  Guys?

Midge: Yayyyy!

Megoin: GUYYYYYYYSSSSS?!?!

Poor Megoin.

Soon Craig came to her rescue...more or less.

Craig: Shut up, ya little whiner!  You're disturbing my Craig time!

Megoin: Oh, just get me outta here!

And meanwhile, the maid I hired was...sitting down and eating.

Maid: This toast sucks.  You guys really need to learn how to cook.

Bobbi: Shouldn't you be cleaning?

He then got up and left.  Didn't even clean up his own plate.  How rude.

Later, Bobbi and Midge headed back to the resort to take care of something.

Bobbi: I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband...

Midge: And I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife.

I decided these two needed a nice private wedding.  Their personalities called for it and...

Oh, screw it.  I'm just too lazy to set up another one of these things.  At least they got a nice sunset.

Man: YEAH!  GO BOBBI AND MIDGE!

Maybe I should have rented a private venue.

Later...

Midge: Hey, Grandpa!  I just got married!

Craig: LEAVE ME ALONE, LARRY!!!

Midge: Uhh...

Craig: I'm sorry, boy, what was that?

Midge: I just got married!  What do you say to that?

Craig: Goodbye!

Midge: ...goodbye?

Craig: Yep!  CRAIG OUT!

...WUT.

Craig: Oooh, I'm flying!

Midge: Wait, what's happening?

NURH.  NURRRRRH.

Midge: Did you just DIE?!

WHO'S GONNA HOLD MEH.  SOMEBODY HOLD MEH.

Midge: Noooo, this can't be happening!  Not on such a happy day!  DON'T DIE!!

Just look at Craig's face.  Look at that smirk.  He knows he just totally fucked up Midge's life and he don't care.  I always knew he was secretly evil.

Midge: PORQUOOOOIIIIII?!?!?!?

Midge was basically sitting out here having a complete mental breakdown by himself.  The rest of the family didn't even notice.

And here it is at an angle with a sad face!

And upside down!

And finally, after hours of pointless crying, the grim reaper finally showed up.

Grim Reaper: Helloooooooo, Sunlit Tides!

Craig: Is that the Grim Reaper!  I'm, like, such a huge fan!

Midge: You're DEAD, Grandpa!

Apparently Grimmy can't walk through walls, so he decided to take the front door in and make his way through the house.  That'll leave some mental scars.

Ahh, someone finally noticed.

Dodger: DAD?!

Midge: I know, he's, he's...HE'S GOING TO THE BIG ASYLUM IN THE SKY!!!!

Dodger: WAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Leonardo: Do you think something's happening out there?

Michelangelo: I've just learned to ignore it.

Leonardo: Wait, CRAIG'S DEAD!!!

And six hours later, the household finally noticed.

Even Megoin was crying.  Actually, I think she just wants food.

Welp, Craig, you have given us over a year of laughter and insanity.

Craig: I know.  I'm such a saint.

Now, I guess it's time to say goodbye, old friend.

Excuse me.

*sob*

WHYYYYYYYYYY.

NOTICE- Next weekend I will be publishing a goodbye chapter for Craig filled with his best moments and never before seen pictures from his childhood!  If you have a favourite moment you want to add to the chapter, leave a comment here or on the forum- http://forum.thesims3.com/jforum/posts/list/493878.page

Thank you :)